Great Silence

From the Office of Readings for Holy Saturday: Something strange is happening—there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear. He has gone to search for our first parent, as for a lost sheep. Greatly desiring to visit those who live in darkness and in the shadow of death, he has gone to free from sorrow the captives Adam and Eve, he who is both God and the son of Eve. The Lord approached them bearing the cross, the weapon that had won him the victory. At the sight of him Adam, the first man he had created, struck his breast in terror and cried out to everyone: ‘My Lord be with you all.’ Christ answered him: ‘And with your spirit.’ He took him by the hand and raised him up, saying: ‘Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.’ I am your God, who for your sake have become your son. Out of love for you and for your descendants I now by my own authority command all who are held in bondage to come forth, all who are in darkness to be enlightened, all who are sleeping to arise. I order you, O sleeper, to awake. I did not create you to be held a prisoner in hell. Rise from the dead, for I am the life of the dead. Rise up, work of my hands, you who were created in my image. Rise, let us leave this place, for you are in me and I am in you; together we form only one person and we cannot be separated. For your sake I, your God, became your son; I, the Lord, took the form of a slave; I, whose home is above the heavens, descended to the earth and beneath the earth. For your sake, for the sake of man, I became like a man without help, free among the dead. For the sake of you, who left a garden, I was betrayed to the Jews in a garden, and I was crucified in a garden. See on my face the spittle I received in order to restore to you the life I once breathed into you. See there the marks of the blows I received in order to refashion your warped nature in my image. On my back see the marks of the scourging I endured to remove the burden of sin that weighs upon your back. See my hands, nailed firmly to a tree, for you who once wickedly stretched out your hand to a tree. I slept on the cross and a sword pierced my side for you who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side has healed the pain in yours. My sleep will rouse you from your sleep in hell. The sword that pierced me has sheathed the sword that was turned against you. Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthly paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven. I forbade you the tree that was only a symbol of life, but see, I who am life itself am now one with you. I appointed cherubim to guard you as slaves are guarded, but now I make them worship you as God. The throne formed by cherubim awaits you, its bearers swift and eager. The bridal chamber is adorned, the banquet is ready, the eternal dwelling places are prepared, the treasure houses of all good things lie open. The kingdom of heaven has been prepared for you from all eternity.

Communion by Desire

Minnesota, and many of the states, have extended ‘stay at home’ orders. Gathering with various others of all sizes, especially those over 10, are discouraged.
This puts a spin on life as normal for me as a priest, of course. We are not allowed to have public Masses, and especially as we are about to start the Sacred Triduum and Easter, this is hard. Harder still is the fasting from the Eucharist that the Faithful will need to extend.
I hear of the frustration. I hear, too, of the grasping at straws, the desire for parking lot Masses (which present a number of challenges to the sanctity of the Mass) or the desire for multiplication of Masses beyond the priests’ ability to meet and yet keep everyone safe and compliant. I hear of the request that we distribute the Eucharist in a hygienic way through using disposable items that could still pass on this virus or collect fragments of the Blessed Sacrament (and would need respectful treatment).
We have to remember that this novel corona virus is unique. While many who are exposed to it may have little to mild symptoms, some will have severe symptoms. While underlying health concerns are an aggravating matter, this is not always the case. It seems that this virus is a little fickle. On top of that, as we have heard, someone might be contagious before, if ever, being symptomatic. This means that they might pass on this virus without ever getting sick or even knowing they are contagious. Perhaps even the celebrant might be contagious, and we are touching the Eucharist at distribution, and then passing on the virus to others. We do not know (yet) who is contagious or who already has had it and now immune, or who is vulnerable to the severe symptoms. As a result, the best course of action seems to be the stay at home orders for the general population to give time for our hospitals to prepare. Hopefully, by the end of April, there will be antibody tests that will allow an easing of the restrictions except for perhaps those most vulnerable.
So we are required, at this time, to maintain this stay at home order. We may look back and say that what we did was difficult. At this point, without these restrictions, from what we understand, we are putting vulnerable lives at risk. We may never know how many lives we have saved by doing nothing… by staying home… by maintaining social distances. May we never find out that we were the cause of unnecessary exposure and perhaps even death by not taking the doctors and epidemiologists at their word.
As Catholics, we are required to attend Mass (yes, that is the requirement, not reception of the Blessed Sacrament). But there are conditions in which that obligation is lifted, mainly when we are putting ourselves or others at risk either because of difficult travel conditions or illness. While those that are contagious may not be ill, they could pass this virus on to the more vulnerable, therefore, Bishop LeVoir and many other bishops have dispensed from the obligation to attend Mass.
At the same time, we live in a wonderful time — we have resources that our ancestors would never have imagined. How many priests and bishops have their Masses live-streamed or recorded for playback! Certainly, it is not the same. As one who is in a parish with the capability to live-stream, it is difficult for me as a priest-celebrant to offer Mass with only the minimal people needed to live-stream it. But it is better than nothing. Here, Mass is still being offered in the place best.
Reception of the Eucharist is important. This Holy Thursday evening, we will mark the giving of the Eucharist as the memorial of Christ’s death and resurrection. As we receive His Body and Blood, we receive communion with Him. But this communion is not automatic, nor is it the only means of communion. We have to remember that Judas was at the Last Supper. He received from Christ Himself the first Eucharist. Yet he did not have communion. St. Peter, and nine other apostles for that matter, also received, but St. Peter would deny even knowing Jesus within hours and the others would run and hide. Only St. John remained at the foot of the cross. Only he experienced an immediate communion with the Lord. Certainly, after the Resurrection, when the sign of the Eucharist was fulfilled, though not fully understood, did the apostles experience a deeper communion, one that lead to their bold preaching and eventual martyrdom. Ironically, only St. John was spared death from martyrdom, though they tried. But he had a spiritual martyrdom — he desired union with the Lord in all things, even the Lord’s death.
And that concept of martyrdom by desire might help us understand the other point — the Eucharist is not the only means to communion. St. John experienced a spiritual martyrdom — he deeply desired to give witness to the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ through his own death — but that was not God’s will. The Church teaches of the importance of Baptism. Baptism is the means in which we enter the Sacramental life of the Church. But it is possible to be saved, in ways known to God alone, without receiving this sacrament. Someone who is not yet baptized but dies in witness to Jesus Christ, therefore a martyr, is said to have experienced a baptism by blood. Their faith in Christ lead them to die for Him, and the Lord will save them. But there is another means: Someone who is preparing for Baptism, say in an RCIA program, who dies before the sacrament, might be saved in what the Church calls baptism by desire. Their desire for the sacrament is so great that, despite circumstances beyond their control, receive the graces that that sacrament imparts. See, God binds Himself to the Sacraments, but is not bound by them. He guarantees that they impart grace on those capable of receiving that grace, but that is not the only way He can give it.
The Lord has bound Himself to the Eucharist. He imparts the grace of communion with Himself (and all the saints, for that matter) in the reception of the Eucharist. But He can, and does give that grace through other means too. Again, that grace is not automatic — we must desire Him, union with Him, communion with Him and all in union with Him. We cannot continue to see the Eucharist as a commodity — a ‘something' I need. Rather, we need to see the Eucharist as He is - Christ who humbles Himself for us and our salvation. A Gift from Christ of Himself that we may have the grace of union with Him. Instead of seeing it as the only means of communion, we perhaps can see it as the primary means, the privileged means of communion. Perhaps, during this Great Fast, now extended into May, we can continue to grow in our desire the Eucharist for who He is — our Lord and Savior, and remember that while the majority of Catholics cannot receive Him Sacramentally, we can receive Him spiritually by deeply desiring Him. He will not allow His people to starve in their desire for communion. He will nourish them in ways mysterious.
I know that this is a difficult time. I know people are afraid, frustrated, and angry. But I also know that it does not have to be so. We can choose to let Christ reign in our hearts. The stone of His tomb could not stop His resurrection, nor can this virus. In fact, there is only one thing that can stop Jesus Christ from having power in our lives — us. Only when we desire He have no authority over us, that we have no communion with Him, is He thwarted from working in our lives and having communion with Him. Yes, - I desire Him in the Eucharist. But more importantly, I NEED Him.
When we are returned to the practice of public Mass (and we will), we may have a renewed joy to not only be in the presence of Christ and the congregation, but to be able to receive Him sacramentally, the most full sign that we have prepared our hearts by our communion by desire.
My Jesus,
I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart.
I embrace You as if You were already there
and unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated from You.
Amen.

THINK

After some considerable prayer, I am posting the following.

Some are curious as to 'real reason' I left St. Peter 8 months ago. I already shared the reason honestly, but apparently there are further 'rumors'. More importantly, being notified of the death of Bishop Sirba of Duluth (I wonder how much of his heart was congenital versus caused by the stress of being a good bishop in the midst of such hard times). Then I read of Bishop Conley of Lincoln being open about his struggles and stepping away from ministry for time to heal. These reminded me that we all, even priests and bishops, need to be 'selfish' at times and ask for both prayers and help.

Especially as ministers of Christ, the Lord wants us to be healed and healthy so that we can lead others to Him without getting in the way. We become opaque and do not let the Lord shine through us as a transparent means if our health, whether physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual, is not being attended. We are going to be poor ministers, the less healthy we are, the more opaque we become. If we take care of these needs, we will be humble ministers who are able to be responsive to the Lord's will and lead others. That's something I have a more profound understanding of because of the last years.

I needed to step away. There were a number of stressors present during my nearly 6 year assignment in St. Peter. Due to a number of factors, I was not taking much time off and took no vacations. The parish faced high budget deficit which was beginning to grow out of control. The church building mortgage had little plan for payment. There were a number of staff concerns. Then there were a slew of baseless rumors. To be honest, it was these continued baseless and ultimately outlandish rumors and innuendoes that threw me over the top. I was to the point of defensiveness. I was not responding well to additional stressors, and they kept coming.

When Bishop LeVoir invited me to go for an extended mental health break starting after Easter, I accepted the opportunity immediately.  An evaluation that was part of this time determined that I was incredibly stressed and almost to burnout. My otherwise good coping mechanisms (prayer, good diet, and daily exercise) had not been sufficient. Because I had not been taking care of my needs as fully as I should have, I needed to take more time off (not only by extending my stay then, but also continue to take time off as I returned). It also became clear that I was not the one to bring resolution to all the challenges that the parish faced. Suffice it to say that it is easier to establish new patterns in a new location and to bring in someone new with fresh eyes for the Parish.

Truthfully, there is nothing more to share.

In the last weeks, I have been approached by several (people who are not from St. Peter but knew me from other assignments) who are concerned about some continuing rumors they have heard. I am trying not to be defensive or to sin by trying to protect my reputation - That's not mine to protect or defend anymore. There is no truth to the rumors, at least the ones that have made it to me. I am grateful that people have the courage to address them to the source before spreading them!!! We need more of this.

We need to realize that not every rumor is true, and the few elements of rumors that are true are often much more nuanced that people think or want to believe. There are people that love to start or spread rumors, either because they know the 'truth' or because they despise the other person (though they may not say this as bluntly). Having a tantalizing bit of gossip makes them feel important, but sharing it shows how really insignificant they make themselves to be.

We will be held accountable for our words by the Lord. Gossip is a sinful two-pronged fork, depending on whether what is shared is true or false. Sharing the truth about someone's sins or illegal activities with someone who has no need to know is detraction (and we are obligated to share proof with legitimate authorities). Sharing mistruths, even while think they are true, of someones' short fallings is calumny. Both are sins. People have a right to their good reputation, unless by a consistent pattern have hurt it - so we should not be quick to share anything that is hurtful. If there is doubt whether the other person has the right to know, DO NOT share it!

I like the acronym THINK for dealing with gossip - Is is True? Helpful (versus hurtful)? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind? If not, keep it to yourself or better yet, forget it.

Imagine what we could be like if we, instead of gossiping about another's failing, prayed for each other? What if we truly showed concern and kindness for each other instead of tearing them down or sharing lies to get our way? What if, instead of using 'evidence' of failures or crimes, we kept quiet with all others who have no need to know, at least at the time? What if we emphasized the positives in each other instead? What if we sought to speak only the helpful and inspiring things that are needed? What if we truly THINK before spreading gossip?

Retreat

Bishop LeVoir has invited me to take part in a 3-week retreat, which will start tomorrow. I will be limited in email and social media access (though I have set an auto forward of Bishop LeVoir's tweets). I will not be available by phone. I am looking forward to this time away. In the last years, I have not taken care of days of rest and prayer, especially even retreats. This, combined with the unique circumstances in which I find myself here at the parishes have weighed too heavy on me. This time away is to heal, pray, rest, and restore. Know my prayers.

Memento mori

Some time ago, I read a story about a doctor’s conversation with a patient with terminal cancer. The patient was expressing fear of dying, mainly because of the fear of the unknown. At that moment, there was a commotion at the door, as the sound of clawing and yelping was heard. A split second later, a dog burst in, bounding into the doctor’s office and with as much enthusiasm as a dog can display, ran up to her master, the doctor, and pounced. As he knew the patient not only from his work but saw him at the same church, the doctor took the moment to demonstrate the lesson. “You notice how impatient my dog was to get here?” the doctor asked. He continued, “My dog has never been in here. In fact, she has never been here before. She did not know what waited for him on the other side of the door, but she heard my voice. She knew that I was in here. She knew the voice of his master, she knew the love of her master, and she had no fear. She just wanted to be with me.” The doctor paused, choking back his tears, realizing the power of that moment for both his patient and himself, “I imagine death is like that. We don’t know what’s on the other side, but we hear the voice of our master, and we should want to be with Him so much that we have no fear.” The patient wiping away tears of relief, was moved by the example to silent pondering. This month, at least in the Catholic Church, we remember all who have died. It gives us a pause to remember those who have passed with fondness, and to pray for them. But it is also a chance for us to remember that we, too are going to die. This can bring us tremendous fear, or it can bring us tremendous peace. Like the doctor and his dog, if we know the voice of the Lord and listen to that voice, we have nothing to fear, and while we do not hasten to see Him before He calls us, we also do no fear that day. This is the true meaning of the phrase, “Memento mori” - Remember death. We call to mind that we are gong to die, and we make decisions based on that eternal perspective. While it is a sobering thought, it is also tremendously freeing. St. John tells us in his first letter that we are God’s children now, and that the world does not know this because they do not know Him. But St. John continues that what we are to be is yet to be revealed, and when it is, we shall be like God for we shall see Him as He is. We hear the voice of the Master, we don’t know what waits, but we know Who waits for us, and that He waits as a loving Father, ready to embrace us as beloved children and something more, something beyond our wildest imaginations. So we remember death, but also remember that death is conquered by Christ. We have nothing to fear.

Christmas is a season

Merry Christmas! I hope that this season is one of peace and joy for all. Christmas is a season - it only begins on December 25. The Twelve days of Christmas, of carol fame, begins - not ends - on Christmas day. Indeed, the twelve days ends on the feast of the Epiphany, we we remember three events in which Christ is revealed to the world (the arrival of the Magi, the Baptism of Christ, and the first miracle at the wedding at Cana). Different cultures have different endings of the season culturally, for example marks is through February 2 (the feast of the Presentation), while others end with the official end of the liturgical season on the Baptism of the Lord, this year January 9. There is something profoundly human (and humane) about this. We prepare for Christmas with another season, Advent, to prepare our hearts to celebrate His birth, but also for His glorious return in the Second Coming. In the Church, we need that time to prepare. While not as intense as Lent, it is a season in the Catholic and Orthodox churches marked by prayer and penance (and even fasting by some). But after such preparations, we also need to to celebrate, and do so for more than one day! Why all this preparation and celebration? Because Christmas is so much more than celebrate a birthday, thought true it is that in part. The Church recalls that Christ was born, but also that He will come again, and when better than when we celebrate His first birth. For a deeper understanding of the meaning of His birth, we need look no further that to some of the carols that we sing during this season. Hark the Herald Angels Sing tells us "God and sinners reconciled”. Silent Night proclaims “the dawn of redeeming grace.” The First Noel reminds us that with His [Christ’s] blood mankind hath bought.” Indeed every Christmas hymn (the religious ones, anyway) tell us the story of the Birth and the reason behind it. Clearly, this is no mere child, but is a Divine Being with a heavenly purpose. Being the Second Person of the Holy Trinity (the persons of the the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit in the one Being of God), Jesus took flesh (the Incarnation) in the womb of Mary, and He was born in a humble stable. While some might quibble about the date, the fact is that He was born, and we celebrate that fact. God became Man, became one of us, so that He would lead us to Himself. He was born that He might offer His life to the Father to redeem us. This is the core of the Christian faith, which begins with Christ’s Incarnation and Birth. He came to die on the Cross to bring the Father’s grace and loving presence to us. With that noble purpose, we need much more than one day. So sing long and well those glorious songs of Christmas and share the joy of our salvation with all.

All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day

This week, we have a Holy Day of Obligation - All Saints Day. We attend Mass to glorify God for what He did through the Saints, and we gather to honor those who have responded as disciples of the Lord. The saint we honor are both the canonized and uncanonized. In reality, we cannot celebrate and honor all the saints with an individual day, so we set this one date for all of them. There is something good in this, after all, we, too are invited to be saints, and remembering all the saints remind us that there is only one common factor in the lives of the saints - their love of God and desire to serve Him. This is done by the poor and rich, young and old, powerful or lowly, male or female. Sanctity transcends cultures, political leanings, and languages. Leon Bloy once wrote, "The only real sadness, the only real failure, the only great tragedy in life, is not to become a saint." How true, because God has made us for Himself, as St. Augustine writes, and anything less than union with Him is to fail to be ourselves!
On Wednesday, we commemorate All Souls' Day, remembering all who have died. It would be most appropriate to visit a cemetery if possible, to offer a prayer for our dearly departed, and to pray for them. We do not have certainty of their current state - heaven united with God, condemnation because of their rejection of Him, or in the state of purification (Purgatory) where they are purged from the attachments to sin, having been forgive of them already. Because of this, this day offers us the reminder to pray for them.
But these days are also a gentle reminder to us to remember and prepare for our own death. As an epitaph on a grave stone puts it, "Remember me as you pass by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so you must be, Prepare for death and follow me." Put more succinctly: Remember death - Momento mori.

All s

Halloween???

Every Halloween, I hear the debate of whether Christians should celebrate it. I have to remind people of how they celebrate it makes a difference. Certainly, remembering the very word “Halloween”’s Christian roots - a contraction and corruption of the phrase “All Hallowed Eve” - we can recall that it is a time to remember all those holy men and women who have loved the Lord and are with Him in eternity. But we might also remember the sweetness of a life lived with God’s love, and the joy of such a promise of eternity. We might even, to a certain extent, delight in the fact that we as Christians can laugh at the face of death, because it has been concurred by the Risen Christ.

But there is a more sinister celebration - the embracing the secularized or even re-paganized side. Here, there is an infatuation with death and the occult. There is a growing ‘epidemic’ of witchcraft. Occult practices are on the rise, and ‘darkness' is creeping into society. Symbols that once terrorized are now celebrated. Nothing is more obvious of this to me than the culture’s embracing of the vampire lore. Now, with popular books placing vampires in a positive light (one ought to be carefully doing this lest they burst into flames), they are removed from the spiritual moorings that once terrified listeners, and served as a warning to not become like them. They are seen with pity, or desire.

Not too long ago, the vampire was a symbol of sin - a creature neither alive or dead. They were in need of drinking blood to remain in its state, which they took from innocent prey. Vampires rejected the life that God gave, and the first in the legend rejected God to become an servant of Satan. They are doomed to wander the night, for fear of bursting into flames in the light of the sun. They do not even give a reflection in a mirror. So twisted are they that they are forced to sleep in caskets. Indeed, this is a creature completely consumed by sin - soulless creatures who feed upon the blood and fears of others.

But for the Christian, like Halloween itself, we remember the roots of the vampire lore. It serves as a stark reminder of a life rejecting the Lord doomed to a life of the un-living. Contrast vampires with who a Christian is to be: a creature in perfect union with our creator, living life to the full. A Christian is to serve others, not feed on them. They seek to live in the light of day and of God’s grace. They are to mirror the love of God, and live as a reminder that all are created in the image and likeness of God. A Christian has died to a life of sin, but live the life of Christ now in them. This is because a Christian has concurred the tomb of Baptism, rising victorious with Christ in His resurrection. In the end, we have nothing to fear of vampires, but we are to remember what they symbolize.